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Posted on 2nd September, 2009 | No Comment

One of our favorite love stories is actually a children’s book entitled Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney. It’s a  humorous yet touching story to a father (Big Nutbrown hare) and his son (Little Nutbrown Hare) trying to describe the depth of their love for each other through the concepts of length, width and distance. This theme has special significance for us parents because, long before this book was published, we used to show our kids how much we loved them by stretching out our arms on either side (I Love you this much) and then bringing our arms together to enfold the child ina tight, warm embrace.

Love is, in many ways, a stretching of one’s self- whether it’s the psychological-emotional stretching of ego boundaries, or the physical “stretching” of a single room into a family home, or the biological stretching of a mother’s womb to accommodate a new life. Or even, in the words of Dr. M. Scott Peck, the willingness “to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth’

Of course we didn’t know that when we got married 26 years ago. We learned it the hard way- with bitter words, cold silences and a hardness of heart that would surface every time the “me” triumphed over the “we” We had our conflicts. What marriage doesn’t? Stretching can be painful and scary, and there were times when calling it quits and walking out the door was very, very tempting. But each time one of us made that conscious choice to continue to love the other, even when that spouse was at his or her most unlovable self, our marriage was strengthened. Each time we chose to forgive, we became a little more loving.

As a young married couple, we thought love was that wonderful feeling of being perfect in each other’s arms. Forgiveness then was a matter of justice, not love. As an “old” married couple, we have grown to see love as that wonderful decision to accept that we are imperfect in each other’s arms, and let in our marriage and in our family. We know now that we cannot claim to love if we cannot be willing to forgive, But only god could have made that realization possible.

Posted on 22nd August, 2009 | No Comment

Years passed without any positive development in my life. I reached the point when I began to resent God and no longer asked any favors from him. It seemed that every time I asked for a good thing, more bad things came my way.

But one day, God heared my cry. He sent people into my life who shared with me the same message about the Lord. First was Vanie, someone I met while I was scouting for a place for my squid ball cart. I had a chat with him and was enlightened with what he told me about the will of the Lord. Vanie told me, “Ask god what he wants for you. It should be His decision, not yours, that should prevail.

The other guy is Elmer, whom I met when I attended a Life in the Spirit seminar given by the Lord’s Flock. It was one of the lowest times of my life and whenever he gave me advice, I experienced a sense of peace. Elmer echoed what Vanie said. “What God wants will happen, Benjie, not what you want, he said.

So I began to pray with God’s will in mind. Before making decisions, I would ask Him what He thought about it, God, do you want me to have this job? Do you want me to go there? Do you like me to have this? Praying that way taught me not to rely on my own judgement but to seek his wisdom.